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I looked down at my sloppy handful of junk and thought, This is going to make me rich." Chuck Palahniuk, Choke "Good girls go to heaven and bad girls go everywhere." Helen Gurley Brown "I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people.
When it's bad, you get it on your shirt.".
Marilyn Monroe "Sex is like air; it's not important unless you aren't getting any.".
Chelsea Handler "Seems to me the basic conflict between men and women, sexually, is that men are like firemen.Nora Ephron "Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.".As soon as you open it, you realize its half empty.Mike Birbiglia "Some people ask the secret farmer wants a wife siegerland of our long marriage.Woody Allen "Sex and pizza, they say, are similar.John Callahan "Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good." Woody Allen "Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences that money can buy." Steve Martin "If Jack's in love, he's.Whats the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?But sometimes I worry that I don't wanna get married as much as I want to get dipped in a vat of warm, rising bread dough.Women want to hear what they think in a deeper voice.".They're very exciting, but the conditions have to be exactly right for it to occur.".What do you call a virgin lying on a waterbed?One slip of the tongue, and youre in deep shit.Jerry Seinfeld "God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.".How rich woman looking for companion is sex like a game of bridge?
Kick his sister in the jaw.
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For other inquiries, Contact.What was I thinking!' Dave Attell "It's no good pretending that any relationship has a future if your record collections disagree violently or if your favorite films wouldn't even speak to each other if they met at a party." Nick Hornby "Anyone who says.A guy will actually search for a golf ball.Whats the difference between a woman with PMS and a terrorist?Damn I got to get the hell out of here!After five years, your job will still suck.You are the wind beneath my wings.Whats the difference between a pick-pocket and a peeping tom?
Another good thing screwed up by a period.
Beause theyre used to eating nuts.

How do you embarrass an archaeologist?
Got any other good ones to add?